The Adversity We Overlook

When we talk about resilience, we tend to talk about the big things. Organisational change. Personal crisis. Breakdown. But adversity is both the big and the small.

Monotony, that quiet, unremarkable flatness that can settle over everyday life, is one of the most overlooked forms of it. Too often we dismiss it as a privilege or as life “just is”. And in some ways, both are true. But that does not mean it cannot feel heavy.

The expectations gap

Mo Gawdat’s happiness equation is useful here: so much of our suffering comes from expectations that consistently outpace reality. It is a formula worth returning to often. Not because it asks us to expect less, but because it restores something important: agency.

Sometimes monotony is not about the routine itself. It is about the misalignment between where we think we should be and where we actually are. When expectations and reality drift apart long enough, monotony can begin to feel like stagnation.

If you have been feeling the mundane lately, consider the following:

1. Check your expectations

What are you currently expecting from your life, your work, or how things should feel? Much of our discontent lives not in reality itself, but in the story we tell ourselves about how life is supposed to unfold. Note: words like “should” and “supposed to” are part of the building blocks of that wall forming around you.

2. Acknowledge where you are

Take stock of your actual reality. It is easy to measure your present against a completely different season of life, one that was not necessarily better, just different. When we evaluate our current world through an outdated lens, discontent follows quickly.

3. Revisit your current vision

Not a five-year or even a one-year plan. Simply this: where are you heading right now, does it align with your values, and are you living in congruence with them? When expectations, values, and reality begin to align, monotony often softens.

4. Introduce deliberate change

Monotony does not always appear because life is static. Sometimes it appears because we are. When we repeat the same behaviours, we recreate the same experiences. Small intentional changes introduce the novelty our brains crave.

There is a difference between accepting the rhythm of ordinary life and losing your sense of direction within it. When monotony starts to feel heavier, it may simply be a signal to reset expectations, reconnect with your vision, and introduce change slowly into your every day.

If you’d like to explore how the six resilience domains apply to your everyday experience, our RFAST program is a practical starting point.

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